


Our Last Heist (aka Leave me, Love me, Betray me)

by shamandalie (meridalocksley)



Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [5]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Break Up, Canon Divergent Ending, Character Study, Domestic Disputes, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Goodbye Sex, Inner Dialogue, Leaving Home, Sexual Tension, Slightly (ok not just slightly...) sad, Slightly angry, canon compliant (up to a point), let's pretend that it doesn't mean anything, slightly angsty, slightly sentimental
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:47:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26044450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridalocksley/pseuds/shamandalie
Summary: ♦️standalone fic (canon timeline, alternative ending)♦️Set sometime after the conversation they had while sitting on the top of the trailer in Ep1, not long before they started into the Ramala-robbery.Aka my headcanon about what could have been going on in their heads around that time, and also me trying to make more sense of Maca's actions. So yeah, this has also a lot of inner monologues. But other stuff too. :)
Relationships: Zulema Zahir/Macarena Ferreiro
Series: Vis A Vis & El Oasis [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747813
Comments: 107
Kudos: 94





	1. Leave me

**Author's Note:**

> (Yeah... I still can't stop writing. And if you're wondering, yeah, I've been very indecisive about the title of this fic. 😅)
> 
> I wanted to write a third part for _High_ from my _That Night_ fic, but I wasn't satisfied with where I went with it. (And that moment was done plenty of times before anyway, so I've become rather unmotivated along the way. I might go back to it at one point though!)
> 
> The point is that while trying to wrap that up, this idea popped into my mind, and I was a lot more enthusiastic about it. Initially I wanted it to be only one chapter, but... oh well... how often do we end up doing what we initially want to?  
> I haven't come across fics exploring this moment from the series, I hope you'll enjoy it! :)  
> Feedback as always, is VERY much appreciated! 😊

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _Important_** : I wrote this totally built on canon, with one exception maybe. I have no idea exactly when Maca betrayed Zulema in the canon timeline, but in this chapter she hasn't done it yet. She hasn't even thought about it yet! Ok? Ok.

"I am actually surprised that you agreed to take part in this heist." Zulema said smiling under her nose as she poured herself some more coffee and sat back down by the table in front of the blonde who was staring pensively into her empty cup. Zulema was hurt by Maca's decision to leave, but she hid it relatively well. _What would be the point of showing it? We wouldn't have had much of a future anyway..._ She looked at her now with a frown. "What's up with you? Are you trying to decipher from the coffee grounds what the future has in hold for you if you leave m-... this way of life behind?" Zulema asked mockingly.

"I am actually surprised that you keep talking as if you would be sad that I am leaving." Maca raised her glance on the brunette.

For a moment Zulema just looked back at her silently. _Maybe I am sad about it. Did the possibility of that ever cross your mind?_

"Well, I got used to your annoying face." she shrugged. "Maybe it would be too much to say that I'll miss you but... It will probably take a while to get used to your absence. All that calming silence without your chirping... Ah... It will take a day or two at most I think." she added jokingly and took a sip from her coffee.

The blonde laughed. "Yeah, it will probably take a short while for me too." she sighed. "Who will annoy me with her wittiness and her insults?"

Maca had no exact idea about what she will do. She just wanted a stable ground. Safety. A normal life. A home. A family whom she loves and who loves her. This has always been a wish she nurtured deep inside herself, even when she was completely satisfied with the eccentric life she led side by side with Zulema. She got into it for the money. She stayed this long for the thrill. And... because she _liked_ it.

But now she had a chance to get the life she has always dreamed about. And it never felt more out of place that she still wanted that, than in this very moment when she looked at the smirking brunette, who she knew, that under her tough appearances, will actually miss her. She thought that she'll be able able to turn her back on her and leave without looking back. But it wasn't as easy as she thought. _I should have left the moment I told you that I want to, because this way..._

 _Did I agree to take part in this heist for the money? I didn't want more money. Did I agree because a part of me actually wanted to drag out our time together? Am I giving myself more time to maybe... change my mind?_ _No. I made a decision. I'm sticking to it._ She moved her glance back to her cup as if she would have indeed expected some kind of reinforcement from the side of the porcelain.

She was not just going for the life she always wanted. She was also leaving behind a life which she had and which was _great_. And moreover, she was also leaving behind someone she grew to... _care about,_ more than she wanted to. And that made her feel bad. _Did I make the right decision at all?_

"Are you having second thoughts?" Maca was startled when Zulema's voice shook her out of her thoughts.

"No." she lied while playing with her cup.

Maca did make a final decision. But she also had plenty of second thoughts regarding it. There was absolutely no guarantee that the life she always wanted would in fact make her happier than she already was. Or it will just turn out to be an illusion she was chasing, like it has already happened so many times before... But on one hand she was afraid that staying would mean that she's giving in to her dark side. The fact that she killed those guys some months ago during the winter holidays was a good enough reminder for that. On the other hand she was afraid that if she leaves she'll end up losing more than what she'll be gaining. But there was no way she would ever tell that to Zulema.

"I agreed to this because... let's say that this will be our goodbye-heist." she added with a faint smile.

Zulema looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "A goodbye-anything?" she asked being amused. "I always had the impression that you were thinking that when our duo will break up, it will either end in flames or a fight." she laughed. "Or simply with us killing each other." the brunette added with a grimace.

"Yeah, I did." Maca said quietly, giving another look to the bottom of her cup. "It's still not too late for that." she added jokingly. _I actually wanted it to be like that. Not the killing part, but the rest... Damn it, it would be so much easier that way!_

She stood up without looking at the woman near her and put her cup into the sink. "Funny how differently things have turned out instead, isn't it?" she asked as she turned back towards her, trying to keep a neutral tone, and failing miserably.

Despite everything, Zulema has also offered her a kind of safety. An interesting life. A home. Even love, in a twisted sense. All that in an entirely different way than what she had on her mind when she was younger. It was messed up, but real nevertheless. And Zulema was still there, in front of her.

The brunette was still looking at her with a surprised, and a slightly satisfied expression. _No, not that smirk, please!_

"Are you trying to say something?" the brunette asked frowning and with _that_ smirk on her face.

 _Damn it!_ With every moment which passed with them sitting by their kitchen table actually talking about this, made it more and more difficult to Maca to play it cool. _I shouldn't have agreed to this. I should have already left!_ She swallowed, then she awkwardly shook her head."Just what I said."

Zulema nodded, then she stood up too and took a deep breath as she stepped to Maca raising her coffee cup. "Good luck with your new life, blondie! You've been through plenty of shit. Not like you'd be a saint... but... I guess you deserve to have the life you want." Zulema said rolling her eyes. "We all do. You made the right decision." she added with a stiff smile.

"What...? Why are you saying this now?" Maca looked at her being puzzled.

"Was this not what you wanted to hear?" Zulema asked calmly. _In either case, this is what I needed to tell you. I_ _prefer to be remembered like this, other than..._

"Since when do you care about what I want to hear?" Maca laughed being slightly alarmed. "Since when are you not just bluntly telling me what you think?!" _Am I actually expecting Zulema to ask me to stay? Am I sad that she didn't? Would it change anything if she would? No, of course it wouldn't, why would it..._

Zulema opened her mouth hesitantly.

 _No, don't you dare telling me to stay!_ Maca screamed internally. _This much about trying to lie to myself..._

"I _am_ telling you bluntly what I think." Zulema repeated seriously. _I am telling myself bluntly what I should think._ "You made a good decision." _Hell, I hate you for leaving. But you did make a good decision. For yourself._

Hearing her words, Maca felt almost physical pain. She didn't think Zulema repeating these words with conviction would actually hurt her. _Was I getting the wrong idea all along?_ _Do you actually want me to leave? What do I even want to hear? Nothing. Nothing would be good!_

Because nothing she heard made sense. She didn't understand Zulema's contradictory reactions. She looked at her, the brunette was looking back at her with her usual smirk, but there was something deeply sad in her eyes. Maca must have looked into them a moment too long because Zulema turned her gaze away. _W_ _hat the hell is going on?_

"So these are our last hours here with just the two of us?" she broke the silence changing the subject before Maca could have said anything. "In the late afternoon Monica and Flaca will arrive, and then also the other two idiots..." she sighed as if it wouldn't have been her who got them involved. "Do you want to do something today? Something random we used to do? Rob a random expensive store? Fight about how to split the loot?" she laughed. "Get drunk? No, I'd rather skip this one to be honest, I don't want to be drunk on our first big meeting with the gang..."

Zulema was still angry with Maca but she decided to play it cool. A sentimentally selfish part of her wanted her to stay. While a vainly selfish part of her and a more selfless part of her, were both relieved that she was leaving. And there was also a part of her who just wanted to spend the brief time they had left pleasantly, with no drama. What would be the point of doing anything else now? At least she agreed to help her with this last heist. _But if you knew all my agenda you'd have left yesterday, blondie..._

Maca looked at her, now also smiling. She saw that Zulema was trying to play it cool too, but she knew her well enough to know that she wasn't actually cool about anything that was happening. Her sudden change of subject betrayed her.

"So? Any ideas?" Zulema looked at her questioningly, taking a sip of coffee. "Or do you want to just pack your stuff instead? I can leave you to that..." she shrugged. "By the way, you can take the polaroids too. I am not the type who hoards pictures." she added offhandedly. 

Maca looked at her frowning. "You were the one who bought that camera..."

"Yeah..." Zulema agreed. "But I bought it for you." she said while picking on a tiny spot of dried up coffee which she discovered on the side of her cup. "I thought you'd like it." she shrugged. "But you don't have to take them if you don't want to."

Maca noticed that for some reason Zulema has become tense, but she couldn't figure it out why. "I'll take them." she said.

Zulema became visibly more relaxed. "I might keep that stupid one I took about you when you couldn't get down from the top of the trailer though. You know, when the ladder broke and you were hanging up there in the rain, all wet, being desperate, and at my mercy..." Zulema laughed. "Just to have an accurate memory about you." she added giving Maca a mischievous look. 

"Very funny..." Maca said trying to sound unimpressed, but the look Zulema gave her made her many things but that. 

The brunette leaned against the cupboard and took another sip from her coffee. "So... what should we do? Our clock is ticking." 

Maca was pondering for a moment, then she suddenly stepped closer to Zulema, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards herself too, and locked her lips with hers, taking her by surprise, spilling her coffee on both of their clothes in the process of it, but she didn't care.

Zulema almost instantly pulled away from her and looked at Maca being puzzled. "What the hell?!" she asked as she put the now empty cup down on the table. "I just took this hoodie off the drier..." she sighed.

"Well, fortunately you fixed the washing machine last week. It took you less time than the ladder..." Maca said. "And... you were talking about something random we used to do..." she shrugged, slightly awkwardly. She felt a bit insecure now, but something kept telling her that there's no reason for that. _I am leaving soon enough after all..._

Zulema looked at her being surprised. "We haven't had sex - I mean, we haven't _kissed_ to be more specific - for quite a while, but we never did the latter without the former, so... Weren't you the one saying that it's better not to make a habit out of it because it makes things complicated?" she frowned. Then her expression became more smug and amused. "Oh... but now that you're leaving, you came to the conclusion that one last quickie before you disappear wouldn't make things too complicated, am I right?"

Maca bit into her lip and closed her eyes. Zulema's way to sum up things that directly made her feel a bit uncomfortable. _Actually... yes, you are mostly right._ Y _es, I said that because I didn't want to make it more difficult to myself. But maybe I am doing exactly that right now... Making it even more difficult..._ _But it doesn't matter. I'll be leaving either way, so what would it change? Is it selfish? Why would it be? It's not like you could ever have feelings for me or anything like that, so that I'd make it more difficult for you... That's out of question.  
_

When she opened her eyes Zulema was still giving her a questioning look, the initial surprise on her face being now spiced with some expectation. And lust. She knew that Zulema liked actually seeing her wanting her. And especially struggling because of it.

Maca took a deep breath, trying to clear her thoughts, then she stepped a bit closer to Zulema. "Something random, you said." she repeated firmly. "And it doesn't necessarily have to be a quickie. We have plenty of time. But if you don't want it we can... I don't know... iron the clothes which are still hanging out there." she shrugged _._

》》》


	2. Love me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is pretty much a mess. I sort of re-wrote it three times, because I had too many things on my mind and it took some time until it turned out as something similar to what I wanted to portray.  
> I hope you'll enjoy it anyway! 😊

Zulema blinked at Maca with her lips slightly parted, a smile forming in the corner of them.

 _Why not?_ She found absolutely no reason for saying no to her. There would be a reason had she not made the decision to leave, but this way, there was none. And although Maca was the one making a step into this direction, it was Zulema who hinted at the topic first. _But I did it just to tease you!_ She was surprised that Maca actually wanted to bring to the surface this side of their relationship at this point. But again, _why the hell not?_ After all this was exactly what she wanted to do: Living with every opportunity which made her feel that she was alive. _That's what I always wanted to do. Not much has changed._

Maca looked at Zulema, being slightly worried because she was hesitating too much to show a reaction. _But maybe it would be better if you'd say no. I wouldn't be able to look at you for the rest of our days spent together, but maybe it would be for the best..._

Zulema slowly shook her head, smiling, with that mischievous spark in her eyes. "We never iron our clothes." she said being amused. "You must have really taken your part out of the housework if you don't even know what we do or don't..." she said mockingly.

"Oh shut up!" Maca said impatiently. _No, don't you dare say no! That would be awful... You want this too_. "I'm perfectly aware that we never do that." Maca added with a smirk making a clear point, and took a step closer to Zulema. "Your move."

"All right." Zulema nodded. "You wanted it." with that she reached towards Maca with a determined move, grabbed her by her hoodie and kissed her hard, more aggressively than the blonde did a minute ago, she placed a palm on her chest, pushing her backwards until her back met the door of a wardrobe, and just feeling Zulema this close to her made a pleasant shiver run through Maca's whole body. It was crazy what an effect she could have on her just by simply kissing her, not to mention anything else. It was almost a month of restrained attraction, but it wouldn't have been much different anyway. Maca's fingers clung into her dark hair, and she was more sure than ever before that an important reason for her wanting to leave was also the fact that it was much more easier to resist this if she was not constantly around Zulema. _Why did I want to resist it that much in the first place? It was me who started it all after all..._

Meanwhile Zulema's hands found their way under Maaca's hoodie, running up on her abdomen, gently squeezing her breasts, making Maca bite into Zulema's lip. 

_Because it's not right! It's not right to feel anything among these lines towards Zulema! It's like being sucked into a black hole, with no way out, no mercy, and no chance for it to be mutual. This woman can be a monster, and she is bringing out the worst of me!_ But there was also another voice in her mind, telling her different things. _She's also making me feel the most alive..._ And the worst part was that the more Maca has seen of a softer side of Zulema, the more capable she felt for actually falling for her. _I had to get away before that happens. I still HAVE to get away before that happens, damn it!_ she reminded herself as she kept kissing Zulema deeply, with no intention to stop. But her kiss eventually became more languid, until she was hanging on Zulema's bottom lip, an arm laying on her shoulder, the other softly pressed against her chest. _If I am not just fooling myself of course, and that part has already happened a long time ago..._

Zulema pulled away from her, leaning with both of her hands against the door above Maca's shoulders. "Usually you were the one telling me to get out of my head. If it wouldn't have been you initiating this, I could think you're not even in the mood." Zulema said jokingly. "Your thoughts are obviously somewhere else, blondie. What are you thinking about?"

 _Not exactly somewhere else._ Maca raised her glance to meet Zulema's searching gaze. _But_ _I'm not going to talk to you about this. Not now. Not ever! I wanted to be able to leave you without thinking about it twice, and what am I doing now?!_ She grabbed Zulema's shoulders and pushed her backwards, directing her towards the bed, until her legs met the edge of the mattrace and Zulema fell back on it, and in the next moment Maca was kneeling above her, running her hands under her hoodie, caressing her skin for a moment before grabbing the material and taking it off her with a determined move, leaving Zulema half naked under herself. 

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "All right. You're in the mood, I see..." Zulema nodded with a smirk.

"I was thinking about how we actually ended up here." Maca said on a serious tone as she leaned forward to place open mouthed kisses on Zulema's chest.

"Yeah... I am still wondering about that too sometimes..." Zulema sighed, then she bit into her lip rolling her eyes. _How did I end up with you on top of me? I've become very indulgent with you... "_ It started with you trying to get into my room, didn't it?" she shrugged.

" _Trying_?" Maca raised an eyebrow laughing. "Into your _room_?" she snorted. "Whatever... let's ignore your choice of words... " with that she moved her hand to the waistband of Zulema's trousers. "If I was _trying_ to get into your _room,_ and the old you didn't want to have me..." she continued with a theatrically sad expression "...what would she say if she knew that in a couple of years I'll be trying to get into your-... Oh god! Why the hell are you wearing a belt at home at all?!" Maca asked being annoyed while she was clumsily and impatiently trying to unbuckle it.

Zulema laughed and wrapped her legs around Maca's waist, rolling them over so that she was now straddling the blonde's legs and looking down at her with a pitiful gaze. "My old self would probably say that you'll never succeed." she shook her head mockingly as her hands joined Maca's and she opened her belt herself. "...Not without struggling with it." she added with another smirk then she helped Maca out of her hoodie too. "And I'm wearing a belt because I am skinnier than I was." she added quietly as she grabbed the blonde's arms and pinned them to the bed above her head.

At one point Maca used to be slightly alarmed when she did this, but now she just smiled at her. She knew that there was no reason for her to be afraid of Zulema. Not anymore. _And no_ _matter how much we kept telling ourselves that there were no feelings involved, briefly we did get affectionate at times, and... And I-  
_

"You actually liked all this didn't you?" Zulema asked with a smug smile on her face, leaning in closer to her, so that now her body was tightly pressed against Maca's, her hair tickling the blonde's chest. "You still like it." she whispered looking at her with that smirk on her face as she moved her thigh between Maca's legs, firmly pressing it against her.

Maca swallowed. _I_ _didn't want to like it._ _I didn't want to like anything about it._ _I didn't want to like anything about you!_ "Well.. You're not that bad." she said looking back at her, her tone and her eyes deliberately telling something else than her words. Then she freed her hands - what she managed to do far too easily, a fact which surprised her for a moment. 

"Well that's new." she raised an eyebrow. "You giving up control just like that? Where's the trap?"

Zulema snorted. "You were the one tricking me with a hug, only to hit me in the head with an iron in the next moment. I should be the one looking out for traps." she said bitterly. "Maybe that's why I avoid having to iron our stuff..." she frowned.

Maca smiled at her, almost apologetically. "You hugged me genuinely at that point didn't you?" 

"I was getting out of jail. I would have hugged anyone genuinely!" Zulema laughed.

"Yeah... right." Maca rolled her eyes. "You keep hiding your softer side, Zulema, but it exists, I've seen it. I _am seeing_ it. And sometimes I'm wondering how is it possible that this is you too, while-"

"Am I too soft for you today? You want me to be rough? Again?" Zulema asked raising an eyebrow. She really didn't want Maca to continue this discussion.

"Soft is not an insulting word, Zulema..." Maca sighed and drew Zulema into another kiss. "Just be whatever you want to be, okay?" she pulled away for a moment to whisper it into Zulema's ear, and when their lips met again she ran her fingers down on her bare back, digging her nails into her skin, as if a subconscious part of her would want to cling into her and never let her go. _I wanted to resist this_ _because I was afraid that it could turn into an addiction I won't be able to give up._ She moved her hands along her ribcage, to her front, cupping her breasts, running her thumb in circles around her nipples, what made Zulema deepen the kiss again, this time more gently, her body pressed against hers, their legs entwined. _And I was right..._

 _You're indeed skinnier..._ Maca thought for a moment. She didn't notice it until now, Zulema's baggy clothes didn't let it show, but she was indeed thinner than the last time she was this close to her. In other circumstances this would have been a red flag for her, Zulema was not counting the calories she was eating, but Maca was too lost in the moment to be able to make connections and draw conclusions. Even her own thoughts started to calm down, all that existed was the very moment, and Zulema's body pressed against hers. 

There was only one thought still lingering in her head. _When did I go from wanting to hang you to worship your body? And why didn't I allow myself to keep doing it? What is actually wrong with all this? It was not sex making things complicated after all. What made it complicated was that this has never been just sex in the first place. Not for me._

Zulema straightened up and quickly got rid of her pants, urging Maca to do the same. For her this has initially really been just sex. With a constant companion, which indeed made it a tiny bit more complicated, but it was nothing she couldn't have dealt with. She has always seen an annoying but useful companion in Maca, and somewhere along the way she started to see a friend in her too, even if Maca hasn't known anything about her current biggest struggles. And then they started to sleep together. And for a while Zulema started to be even more annoyed by her. And then less. And less. Until she eventually realized that she liked her company. She realized that she _wanted_ her company. Even if lately the blonde wanted to keep things less complicated. It didn't matter, the sex was a fun addition, but it wasn't the most important thing, it was about having someone near with whom she actually started to connect with.

And then Maca came up with the decision that she wanted to leave.

 _I was so furious with you in that moment, that if you knew..._ Now Zulema was the one being lost in her thoughts, she was shaken out of them when Maca suddenly rolled them over and in the next moment pulled her panties down her legs, then she blinked at her with a smile. "You never made it this easy for me. It could make me think that _you_ are not even in the mood." she added jokingly.

"Well... it's obvious that it's not the same as it used to be..." Zulema sighed rolling her eyes. "You kept comparing us to a married couple. The more time passes the less passionate the marriage becomes, that's known..." she shrugged.

Maca shook her head laughing. "We're not _that_ married, heavens... That happens with old people. And we are still young and full of enthusiasm, with the rest of our lives ahead of us, aren't we?" she asked cheerfully. She expected some witty remark but it failed to come. Zulema was just silently looking somewhere into the distance. _Did I say something wrong? You're ten years older than me, but don't tell me you consider yourself old! Or are you actually this sad that we have no common future ahead of us? What the hell is wrong with you?_ Maca swallowed, uncomfortably.

"Zulema, what is bothering you?" she looked at her with a searching gaze. "I kept asking you, but you never said anything other than bullshit. You've been different for a while, I noticed! What-"

"Nothing is bothering me." Zulema really was in no mood for this conversation now. "I'm fine."

"But something _is_ wrong! I'm seeing it!"

Zulema sat up and grabbed Maca's hair, pulling her towards herself. "You're seeing a lot nowadays." she ran her other hand up Maca's chest and wrapped her fingers around her throat. "We never understood each other completely. So don't start trying to understand my motives for being like this or that _now_!" she said quietly then she pushed Maca off herself so that she rolled down onto the bed near her and Zulema leaned over her, half on top of the blonde, trapping her with one of her legs. "It's not worth the effort, blondie, I'm telling you." she said bitterly, her fingers around her throat again, but only mimicking a grasp this time, her lips lightly touching Maca's cheek as she whispered the words.

Maca had her own secrets, she was in no place to insist on what Zulema doesn't want to tell her. But she started to have a feeling that while her secrets were joyful ones, Zulema was keeping something dark to herself, and it was hurting her. _Is someone after you? Did someone threaten you? Play false on you? Blackmail you? Am I leaving you on your own with some trouble?_ But this was not the moment to open Pandora's box. Maca did what Zulema asked her to do, she stopped asking her about this.

"And I _am_ in the mood." Zulema continued "So stop questioning me and let's stick to the part where I think we both agree that we do understand each other." she added as she moved her hand downwards on Maca's body then she shoved it into her panties, touching her firmly for a moment before she pushed two fingers into her, making Maca moan and immediately lift her hips to meet her thrusts which quickly took a steady pace until they abruptly stopped.

"Where were we in our history?" Zulema asked casually.

"You don't want to go through our whole history _now_ , do you?" Maca panted, then she sat up again freeing her legs and throwing one across Zulema's thighs now. She sat back on top of her and angrily threw her hair back. 

"I see..." Zulema laughed. "You like to have to fight for control. It must make you feel like you've conquired something, right?" Zulema asked grinning. "What are you trying to prove now?" Zulema raised an eyebrow. "That you want to fuck me more than you want me to fuck you?" Zulema asked on a seductive tone reaching out an arm to touch Maca's face. "It's flattering, really." It was in fact her being unsure about this. She couldn't decide what she wanted more, to selfishly use Maca and for once truly allow herself to feel, or to make it memorable for her. 

The blonde looked at her being annoyed. "You know what? You wanted me to shut up. I want you to shut up too. No more words. Deal?"

Zulema pouted. "Fine. But only after you take those things you call panties off too. We only make deals with equals, don't we? Identical twins, remember?"

"Yeah. That must have been the point you realized that you'd miss me if you'd kill me, because identical twins or not, from that washing machine incident on you gave up attempting to do it." Maca smiled at her and got out of her panties.

Meanwhile Zulema straightened up and the blonde found herself pushed on her back again. "I was the one with the bad reputation, and with the threats. But I never actually attempted to kill you. That has always been you."

"Yeah, because you probably couldn't decide what you want. Just like now." Maca laughed. "But you should figure it out 'cause I'm losing my patience." she said and sat back up wrapping her right leg around Zulema's lower back and moved a hand between her legs, touching her softly, what made the brunette's breathing become more heavy.

"I always knew what I wanted." Zulema said firmly, and for Maca's surprise she wrapped her right leg around her too, pushing Maca even closer to herself. _"Everything."_ she whispered, her lips just touching Maca's for a moment then she suddenly parted them with hers, and the moment Maca kissed her back deeply, wrapping an arm around her neck, Zulema entered her with two fingers again, taking Maca by surprise, making her moan into her mouth and tighten the hold on her neck. As soon as she regained control over her actions, Maca did the same. Meanwhile their kiss became messy, eventually they stopped and looked into each other's eyes for a brief moment, but it was too much, so they turned their gaze away, and ended up cheek by cheek, until they collapsed, resting their heads on each others shoulders, holding into each other, and it was obvious for both, that neither of them hurried to let go.

They've never had sex being this intimate. It was always more just like a game or a fight, and if that has already been the most intense thing Maca has ever felt, she rally had no idea how to describe this.

She didn't want to let go of her. In the very moment specifically because she didn't want to look into Zulema's eyes. She felt a teardrop run down her cheek, and she didn't want Zulema to see that either. _Am I really crying? Now?! For God's sake!_ But feeling Zulema's arm wrapped around her made her feel comfortable. And in the same time also very uncomfortable _. Why are we like this now? Could this have been us for the long term? No. This would have never happened if I would ha_ _ve stayed, would it?_ And then unexpectedly an impossible idea popped into her mind. One which she never even considered an option until now. _Could we go on with our lives with a kid in the picture?_ She instantly chased the idea away. _Of course not! That's crazy... You'd never compromise for me to be able to have that. It's impossible. And it would be irresponsible._ Maca also longed for feeling loved. She longed to have a family around herself, someone to kiss her goodnight, surprise her with a forehead kiss when she least expects it, pick up her child smiling if the kid runs towards him. Simple family things like that. _I could never have that if I stay with you. We're not a couple, we never could be one. You don't even love me, why the hell do I still keep thinking about this now?!_

She bit into her lip when she sensed that Zulema was moving, trying to stand up. _I'm losing my mind! I can't mistake some lingering, selfish after-sex affection with love!_ They never hung around much in the bed together afterwards. Probably Zulema realized too that they have sort of crossed a line. Maca let go of her, and she wanted to quickly turn around to get up from the bed without having to look at her, but Zulema grabbed her arm.

"Where are you hurrying, hmm?" she asked calmly and in the next moment she got off from the bed and knelt down in front of her, smiling confidently at the blonde. "We still have time." she said decidedly, resting her hands on the Maca's knees, slowly moving them apart, her smile slowly regaining its mischievous spice.

She has seen Maca's teary eyes but she didn't make a single comment about them she didn't even let Maca know that she noticed it. She was determined to not make this sadder than it was. She was determined to end this on a happy tone. For herself? For Maca? That really didn't make any difference at this point anymore.

.

Quite some time and numerous orgasms later, Maca threw herself back on the bed near Zulema. "l still can't believe we broke the window!" she laughed. 

"You broke the window." Zulema blinked at her from the corner of her eye, restraining a chuckle.

"Well, you made me break the window, don't play the innocent!" Maca said impatiently, but still laughing.

"And you didn't even want us to stop and assess the damage..." Zulema shook her head.

"Well the splinters were outside not inside, why would we have stopped?" Maca looked up at the ceiling being amused, then she closed her eyes.

The brunette lifted herself on her elbows and leaned over her. "I love this newer attitude of yours when it comes about facing problems. It's... reckless." Zulema smiled at her and all of a sudden kissed the blonde's forehead then she laid back on the bed near hear also laughing. 

But Maca's eyes snapped open and she became silent. _No!_ There was silence for a long moment, she only heard Zulema's breathing near her, and her own once again never-ending second thoughts which were bombarding her mind.

"What if I realized that I want to have everything too?" she asked quietly after a while.

"What?" Zulema turned towards her.

Maca swallowed. "How compatible do you think that the "everything" you want is with mine?" she tilted her head to look at the other woman.

Zulema looked at her frowning, then her expression became more serious. _Fuck! I must have crossed a line..._ She sat up on the side of the bed then she got up to go looking for some clothes. "Not compatible at all." she said coldly as she took an oversized T-shirt out of her wardrobe and got into it. 

"What?!" Maca stared at her being perplexed. "We were-"

"Don't you dare changing your mind now!" Zulema said firmly blinking back at the blonde above her shoulder.

Maca looked at her being puzzled. "Why? You actually _want_ me to leave now?"

Zulema closed her eyes, then she turned around to face Maca with an angry look on her face. "You wanted a goodbye-fuck. You got it. Maybe it was even better than what you expected, sorry, I can't help it, I'm good!" she added laughing bitterly. "But don't see it as anything else than what it was. A good-"

"How can you be like this?!" Maca snapped.

Zulema looked at her silently, pressing her lips together. "You made a decision. Stick to it! It's for your best, believe me." she said coldly.

"Stop being such a fucking know-it-all! It is irritating!" Maca said furiously. "You can't know what's best for me! How could you?! Not even I know that!"

"I am _absolutely certain_ that leaving is the best for you." Zulema said quietly. Maca thought she was talking like that because she was angry, and that made her even more furious. But Zulema was talking quietly because she didn't want her voice to break.

Maca closed her eyes and took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "Ok... If I tell you a secret of mine... about why I actually wanted a normal life, will you tell me what is bothering you?" she asked looking at her.

Zulema laughed as she leaned against the table. "No. I know why you want a normal life, blondie. Because you don't think your life can ever be full without all those so called normal things. A family. A house. A husband. A kid. A dog. No, you're more the cat person..." she added on a mocking tone. "Anyway... I wouldn't be surprised if you'll end up being knocked up until next month, because you are obsessed with having a kid, and well... you're not becoming younger either. That if you're not already knocked up and that's the reason, 'cause who knows?" Zulema shook her head giving Maca a look. "So _no_ , don't expect me to talk about what is bothering me! I can't give you what you want. And you can't give me what I need either." she added turning her back on her. _No one can._

"You can't or you don't want to, Zulema?" Maca insisted. "And what the hell is it what you need? Talk to me, damn it!"

Maca's phone started ringing on the table, interrupting their argument. Zulema automatically blinked at it. 

"Who is this Perez? He must be really wanting to talk to you..." she reached to the phone and looked at the screen. "Looks like you have ten new messages too, I guess also from him."

Maca's eyes widened. She jumped up from the bed, picked up Zulema's jacket which was laying at arm's length and got into it. "Give that to me!" she said nervously.

"Oh... he must be important." Zulema said smirking bitterly and lifting the phone so that Maca can't reach it. "Is he the reason why you want to leave?" she raised her eyebrows. "No, he can't be _that_ important if you still wanted _me to_ fuck you. Again and again..." she added smugly.

"He's not the reason I want to leave." Maca said impatiently. "Well... not directly. Zulema, please... He's a guy I slept with a while ago and I realized only after I've given him my number that he's a fucking cop! I have to be _really_ cautious with him! So for both of our sake, I am _begging you_ , give me that phone! Now!" she said looking at the other woman with a desperate gaze.

The brunette looked at her with an unreadable expression, then she stiffly handed her the phone. Maca took it and hurried out of the trailer. 

_Magnificent..._ Zulema looked after her pondering. _You've slept with a cop? Why am I even surprised...?_ she shook her head, sat down by the kitchen table, placing her legs up on a nearby chair. _Whatever... I have nothing to lose..._ she sighed and lit a cigarette.

She calmly blew the smoke out and turned her gaze towards the window, looking at Maca's figure nervously walking up and down as she talked on the phone. _But you can lose everything._

》》》


	3. Betray me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♬ _Soundtrack:[Mercy Mirror by Within Temptation](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVhmdLVVS-U)_ ♬
> 
> This took me longer than I thought, I had a pretty busy week, but here it is, the last chapter!  
> As I said, I started writing this based on canon and I intended to stick to the original story, just adding their perspectives to it. Well... I changed my mind along the way, and I didn't exactly do that here. This chapter takes a _slightly_ different direction! I hope you won't mind it. :P
> 
>  _Note in the note_ : I reaaally didn't feel like getting into Maca's thing with Perez, so I took the short and bold step and summed up most of that in the first paragraph through those text messages. I'm not very happy with it, but that's all I was able to do regarding that. And I hope it makes sense outside of my head too, lmao. ~~Sorry blondie, I don't feel like writing about your stupid affairs more than necessary...~~

Maca stormed out of the trailer having a bad feeling. _What the hell do you want now?! Didn't you get the hint that I don't want to see you anymore?!_ When she was about to answer, the phone stopped ringing. _Awesome!_ She took a deep breath and gave a quick look to the messages

> **_Perez_** _23:28 Hi! Still busy?_ _I'd really want to talk to you about something._ _It doesn't have to be a date. Is tomorrow ok?_
> 
> **_Me_** _23:32_ _I'm not in the city, sorry... I'm_ _visiting_ _some family members up north. I'm not sure when I'll be back_
> 
> **_Perez_** _23:34 Oh I see. Next week then?_ _It's quite important_
> 
> _00:02: I guess you're sleeping already. Answer me in the morning please._ _Good night!_
> 
> _09:33 Hey! Good morning! Are you awake?_
> 
> _\--- New messages ---_
> 
> _10:09_ _Answer me please._ _I have to organize my schedule too_
> 
> _10:51 Don't ignore me, Ecaterina!_
> 
> _10:52 I advise you to listen to what I have to say_
> 
> _10:52 It really could be important. For you._
> 
> _11:32 Ecaterina?_
> 
> _11:38 Ecaterina, you're not out of town, are you? Don't lie to me  
> _
> 
> _11:49 Ok, I'll be more clear. I have evidence that you're not out of town._
> 
> _13:01_ _I'll call you. If you don't answer me, I won't be able to help you_
> 
> _13:02 And I won't be sorry  
> _
> 
> _13:02 My job was never to help you anyway  
> _
> 
> _Just now:_ _Goodbye_ _, Macarena. I wanted to give you a chance. Y_ _ou're on your own now._

Maca's blood froze in her veins. _You asshole! And I thought you were just having a crush on me!_ _I should have gotten rid of this damn phone the moment I realized you're a cop!_ She expected the guy sooner or later to find out who she is, but she didn't think that she'll find herself being played from the start. _Why didn't you arrest me when you had me near then?!  
_

She blinked back towards the trailer. _I fucked up! I fucked up big time! And I'll never be able to escape this on my own! I can't keep running on my own... I'll end up in handcuffs sooner or later anyway, and then what do I do?_

Her hands were trembling as she pressed the call button, and she felt her heart pounding in her chest when she heard the dial tone, afraid that he'll be the one ignoring her now. _Answer it!_ She didn't even wait for Perez to speak into the phone when he picked it up.

"How can you help me?" she heard her voice asking desperately.

She was acting out of fear. And she hated herself.

.

Zulema lazily stood up to throw away the cigarette stub. She started to feel her head going numb. _Fucking headache!_ _I should stop smoking inside at least..._ She blinked at her reflection in the mirror as she passed near it. 

_"You have an idea what the conversation out there could be about, don't you?"_

She turned around being startled when she heard the voice behind her back. Her own voice.

She sighed and gave a tired look to the hallucination-version of herself, wearing that shitty yellow uniform, sitting with her legs placed on the table, smirking at her. _"You do, don't you?"_ the projection tilted her head and kept looking at her patiently.

"Am I really as annoying as you when I smirk like that?" Zulema looked at herself with a bitter grimace on her face.

" _Generally, yes. Occasionally, some people find it attractive._ _Poor things..."_ the hallucination rolled her eyes. " _But you didn't answer me."_ she gave Zulema a questioning look crossing her arms.

"Of course I know what the conversation out there could be about... Nothing good." Zulema sucked on her teeth.

 _"And what will you do about it?"_ the projection asked examining her nails with a very focused interest, as if she wouldn't even care about Zulema's answer.

"What could I?" she spread her arms being annoyed.

 _"You want to wait for that motherfucker to catch you both? That would be a pity..." she sighed. "Won't you run away?_ _Or would you rather help her?"_ she asked coldly raising an eyebrow.

"Why would I run away?" Zulema laughed bitterly. "And why would I help her? She wanted to leave days ago! Had I not convinced her to do this heist with me she wouldn't even be here, she'd have to face this potential shit on her own!" Zulema started to be irritated. _Stop demanding answers! Stop urging me to do anything! I don't have to do anything!_

" _Yeah..."_ the hallucination nodded with a knowing smile and stood up. _"But she's not gone. She's still out there... Wearing nothing but your blue jacket... Look, doesn't she look miserable?"_ she stepped behind Zulema and followed her gaze as she looked through the window at Maca. " _You care about her don't you?"_ she whispered into Zulema's ear _. "You care about her as you'd care about a sister. No... That would be problematic. A friend. A best friend maybe..."_ she turned her gaze towards Zulema, visibly expecting a reaction.

"Fuck off!" Zulema angrily turned her back on both the window and the annoying projection of her mind. _And stop drawing conclusions!_

 _"Not a best friend?_ " that raised an eyebrow. _"Oh, is it something else then?"_ she asked cheerfully following the grumpy Zulema, giving her a piercing and examining look when she stepped in front of her, leaning against the cupboard. _"Nah... That wouldn't be you, would it? That would be too much coming from you..."_ she shook her head. _"But either way... I don't think you want to see her suffer."_ she looked up at her real self pouting _. "And helping her maybe you'll help yourself too."_ she added quietly with a witty smirk. " _Just a thought for you to chew on..."_ she shrugged it off then.

Zulema stared back at her being perplexed, then she turned her back on her again and stepped to her drawer, pulled it open impatiently, and grabbed a box of pills out of it.

 _"Those won't make me disappear."_ the hallucination rolled her eyes.

"I know. You come and go as you please... But it still helps with the headache. For now... Where were you in the past couple of hours anyway? " Zulema turned around angrily. "How come you were not creeping up on my back whispering inappropriate stuff in my ears?" she asked furiously as she took a pill and drank some water after it.

 _"I was here_..." the hallucination sighed. " _But you were too preoccupied to deal with me. I should have screamed to make you pay attention to me... And I am not doing that."_ she said with a yawn and took one more step closer to Zulema grinning at her. " _I'm destroying you silently... Effortlessly.... Slowly..."_ she whispered looking into her face. " _So will you help her?"_

"How? Stalking the guy and killing him on a dark alley? Please..." Zulema snorted.

 _"No. You wouldn't do that. Maca wouldn't thank you for killing the father of her child, even if it's the cop running after her..."_ she said sounding concerned, almost as if she'd actually want to help Zulema come up with a plan.

Zulema suddenly turned towards the hallucination with a frown on her face.

" _You suspected it, but you weren't sure about it until now, right? But now you are, aren't you?_ _She's carrying life in herself while you're carrying death."_ that looked at Zulema with a mocking gaze. " _Isn't that ironic?"_ she laughed. " _How does it make you feel? Do you hate her for it? Or do you envy her? Would you want it all to go wrong?"_ she looked at Zulema with an innocent expression. _"Again?"_ she grinned.

"I said fuck off!" Zulema wanted to jump to her and grab her neck to make her shut up but she already knew that it is pointless.

 _"Oh... Are you feeling insulted? Or ashamed? Is it even worth to ask it if you're happy for her?"_ the hallucination continued pondering. _"Or is it a painful mix of all that?"_ she added, for the fist time looking at her flesh and blood self with an empathetic gaze.

Zulema closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe if she waits long enough this literal manifestation of a headache will disappear. But it didn't.

The projection was still there, blinking at her, patiently waiting for an answer. " _So what are you gonna do?_ " she asked on a serious tone.

"What do you advise me to do, you clever bitch? Huh? Spit it out!"

The clever bitch looked Zulema in the eye, with a scornful expression on its face. _"I am not advising you to do anything, you wretched imbecile... I am you. And stop acting as if the answer would have not crossed your mind already. It makes you look pathetic..."_

Zulema only noticed now that the hallucination wasn't wearing the yellow uniform anymore, she couldn't tell when the change happened, but now it looked exactly the way she did in the very moment. "Why do you look different now?" she asked frowning.

She gave Zulema a tired gaze. _"Haven't you figured that out already? You're truly in denial about what you actually want..."_ she sighed and moved closer to Zulema leaning closer to her ear. _"I take the form of the version of you you want the most to get rid of."_ she whispered coldly, then gave Zulema an even colder smile and patted her shoulder. " _Good luck getting the most out of it!"_ With that she easily stepped across Zulema, making her headache even more worse for a couple of seconds, then it disappeared.

Zulema found herself looking into the mirror, being terrified of herself. _I never wanted it to end like this. I was always convinced that you'll be capable of having so much more than what you got!_ _I'm sorry I let you down... I'm sorry I'll let you down._ Her expression then softened, and she felt that she's becoming calmer. She has made a decision out of fear. But for the first time, she did not hate herself for it. She gave a trembling smile to her silent reflection and then turned her back on it.

.

Maca hung up the phone and stared blankly in front of herself.

 _I thought choosing between staying or leaving was the toughest decision I had to make. Oh how naive of me..._ _Then what do I call this?_ _I'll either give birth in jail with the possibility of never seeing my child grow up, or I help them catch a bigger fish than me, saving myself. My child and my freedom or the freedom of a criminal who has actually messed up my whole life? The choice should be easy, really..._

She felt a cold breeze on her skin, so she wrapped Zulema's jacket more tightly around herself. _For God's sake!_

She felt miserable. _If those are my only options, I'll hate myself for the rest of my life, no matter what I choose..._

.

Zulema rubbed her face and looked out through the window. She didn't see Maca anywhere. She stepped out of the trailer and walked towards the lake. The blonde was sitting on a nearby rock, angrily throwing stones into the water. She was crying. Zulema silently sat down near her. "Problems in paradise?" she asked lightly.

Maca turned towards her nervously. "It is not funny, Zulema... It is not funny at all!" she shook her head.

"I can imagine." Zulema nodded and laid back against a rock tilting her head to look at Maca. "What did he want?"

Maca didn't answer. 

Zulema bit into her lip and looked up at the clouds. "Should we pack and run because your cop friend will be here to arrest us in five minutes? Or he's already here?" she turned her gaze back towards the blonde.

Maca looked at her with disbelief. "How can you be so calm about all this?"

"What would it solve if I'd be mad?"

Maca turned her gaze away, throwing another stone into the lake. "No, he won't come to arrest us. Not yet anyway... She gave me a day to think things through. But I still fucked it up. Big time..." she buried her face into her palms.

Zulema looked at her pondering. "Maca..."

"Get away from here!" the blonde interrupted her. "He knows that I'm here, but he doesn't know you're with me. And he doesn't have to." Maca said being surprised by her own words. _Did I make decision? When did I make a decision?!_

"No." Zulema said firmly.

 _Thank God!_ Maca felt relieved. And then she felt conflicted because she couldn't figure it out whether the feeling of relief came from the fact Zulema didn't intend to flee and leave her on her own, or because this way she still had a viable chance to get out of this. "There's no point in getting both of us caught, it was my stupidity!" Maca snapped nervously. "Zulema, go!" _Because if you stay and you"ll piss me off I really have no idea what I will do..._

"And if I go, what about you?" the brunette blinked at her.

"I'll..." _Fuck... What about me in that case? I'll run... And then? What about my life? What about my child? I should tell him that I'm pregnant. That could change things. I was considering it after all..._

"Maca, what about you then? Don't be stupid... What does he want?" Zulema insisted.

The blonde bit into her tongue, so hard that it was painful. "Nothing. He just told me that if I give myself up voluntarily I'll have a better chance, and all that bullshit we know very well about that is not worth it..." she lied.

"Make a deal with him." Zulema said firmly. "He has slept with you, and he wanted to help you even if his help is useless, so you must have some effect on him. Use it! Bargain for your freedom! You need that if you want to live a normal life."

"What do you think I could possibly offer him?" Maca looked at Zulema with disbelief. _Do you have a better idea than he does?_ "Money? That won't work on him..." she said throwing another stone into the water.

"No, not money." Zulema said quietly.

"Then what? What else could I offer him? Seduce him and make him want to marry me? Don't be ridiculous..." she laughed bitterly.

"No. Not that either." Zulema looked at her silently. Maca indeed looked miserable. She was visibly struggling, and Zulema suspected that she wasn't telling her everything. But it didn't make any difference.

"What else other than money do I have? Please tell me, if you know, because I could really use some help right now!" Maca shook her head looking at Zulema desperately. "What do I have what could buy me my freedom, Zulema?" 

Zulema took a deep breath. It didn't come easily for her to say it out loud, she had to force herself to do it. But eventually she did. And in that moment she realized that she might not be acting solely out of fear. Because it felt good saying it.

"Me." she said quietly. "You have me." she leaned slightly forward to look Maca in the eye and smiled at her.

The blonde looked at her with her mouth open as if she would have seen a ghost. "What?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"Well... Not yet." the brunette with a faint smile.

Maca has never seen Zulema like this. She was natural. Vulnerable. Sad. And smiling. The wind was playing with her hair, and although it was totally inappropriate for the moment, Maca couldn't help but notice that she was also beautiful. Not because she hasn't noticed that until now, but something about Zulema was different now. Her eyes were sparkling differently, with a different kind of warmth Maca has ever seen in them. And she didn't understand why Zulema was acting like this. She didn't understand why she was _saying_ all this. _You'd never take that risk for anyone!_

"Make a deal with him. Me for your freedom. He'll accept it. Sign the papers-"

"Zulema!" Maca interrupted her. "Don't say stupid things! One one hand you're being very full of yourself..." _But you're not exaggerating... You are the bigger fish after all..._ "And on the other hand, you'd never go back to jail willingly! And your chance of getting out of this if-"

"Sign the papers!" Zulema continued ignoring her words. "Lead them to me. Let them catch me. If you did your part of the deal, they'll have to do theirs. I'll handle the rest."

"How?! Are you planning to escape this with a witty plan? The chance for that to work out is almost zero! Don't be stupid! Do you think I could live knowing that-"

"I am not planning to escape, blondie." Zulema said without looking at her. "And I sure as hell am not planning to go back to jail either." she said still smiling and a teardrop ran down her cheek. "I'll shoot all of those motherfuckers on my way towards that shithole!"

Maca looked at her being alarmed. "What the hell are you talking about?! I don't understand shit from what you're saying! That would be the end of you! You're talking as if you'd want to..." Maca closed her mouth and stared at Zulema.

 _Why would you want to give everything up? Because certainly not for me... What can be happening to you which is worse than being caught? Or worse than getting yourself shot?_ There was only one thing Maca had left on her mind. And that made her feel really bad. Because in the shadow of that thought all the things she didn't understand slowly started to make sense. She started to see an explanation for why Zulema was talking lately as if she'd be a ticking bomb. _No...That can't be...!_

"Zulema... why are you saying all this?" she asked cautiously being afraid of the answer.

The brunette shrugged. "I am tired of running."

"Zulema... why are you saying _this?"_ Maca grabbed her arm, keeping her eyes which started to fill with tears fixed on her, as if the other woman could vanish in any given moment. She was hoping for Zulema to say something, _anything,_ else than what she had on her mind.

The brunette smiled at her pulling her arm out of Maca's grasp. "You know me. You must have figured it out already. So out of the two of us, I am the one who has nothing to lose." she said on a neutral tone.

"No..." Maca shook her head and grabbed her arm again, this time with both of her hands.

"I'm dying, Maca." Zulema raised her glance on her.

"No!" Maca's grasp on her arm tightened. 

"I was given months. And that's been months ago. So-"

"NO! Shut up!" Maca snapped, being perfectly aware that Zulema not saying the words out loud will not make them less true. But she didn't want to hear them. She didn't want her to say them.

They just stared at each other for a moment. And Maca's tears started to flow again, with an entirely different reason then a couple of minutes ago. Something clicked in her. Or the entire world moved around her, she wasn't even sure where the actual change took place. And everything she was at least relatively sure about became messy and vague in the light of what she was feeling now.

"And you let me leave? You were actually pushing me away?!" she roughly let go of Zulema's arm and continued staring at her. 

"You wanted to leave. What should I have done?" 

"You should have told me!" Maca said furiously.

"Why?" Zulema asked genuinely. "What would have been the point of that?"

Maca shook her head bitterly. "You really don't see it, do you?"

Zulema gave her a questioning look. "I don't see what?"

"When I decided to leave, I thought I was leaving behind a capable, reckless, annoying daughter of a bitch, who's full of life and who'd find someone else to work with and whom to annoy in no time, and who'd continue to sip expensive cocktails on the seaside smiling smugly about the way she made a fool of the cops and got away with all those diamonds, again."

"I still don't see what difference this makes..." 

"ALL the difference!" Maca snapped. "It makes all the difference, Zulema! I never meant to leave you alone. Especially not with something like this!"

She reached out to Zulema wanting to hold her, but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" 

"Seriously?" Maca looked at her with disbelief and a drop of hurt. "Seriously?!"

Zulema rolled her eyes. "Don't... pity me!" she said coldly.

"Stop telling me what to do!" Maca said quietly. "Me wanting to hug you doesn't mean that I pity you!" she added and slowly reached towards Zulema again. _A hug is an act of love, you cold bitch!_

The brunette made an instinctive little motion, but she didn't pull away from her touch this time, so Maca wrapped her arms around her. "You have me too." she whispered into her hair. "You know that right? You have me." she repeated holding her tightly.

Zulema started moving, uncomfortably. "All right." she swallowed. "Let's go back to what I said. And look at it from my perspective. I lived as an awful person. Awful mother. Awful friend. You know everything... So just let me do something good for once!" she smiled. "Don't look at it as a favour I'm doing to you. Because it's not one! I most likely wouldn't be willing to do this in other circumstances. I surely wouldn't. So I am not doing it for you. I am doing it for me. It's a selfish act, Maca, and it would be a favour you're doing to me. With a fortunately unfortunate coincidence which makes it also useful for you, but... don't think for a moment that I'm being selfless... you know it very well, that I am never like that." she kept smiling. Zulema wasn't even sure whether this was entirely true, but she didn't even care, this was what Maca needed to hear.

"No." the blonde shook her head.

"You're denying my last wish from me?" Zulema asked jokingly on a tired tone, with a sad, but slightly almost manipulative smile on her face. "Think about it... Wouldn't it be a perfectly fitting end for me? I've sold someone dear to me to get my freedom. Isn't it just right to suffer the same end? One has to love the irony of it-"

"No... NO!" Maca kept repeating the word shaking her head. 

"Why?" 

"Because I promised myself that I won't become like you. And... well.. I did become like you in many ways, and doing this would be the ultimate step towards that."

"That's not the same." Zulema laughed. "I betrayed Hanbal. But I am now _asking_ you to betray me. It's your only way out. And it's the only useful way out for me too..."

"Zulema... stop... talking, for heaven's sake!" Maca nervously ran her fingers through her hair. "You kept saying that you betrayed the love of your life, Zulema! I am not like you! I could never do that as easily as you!" Maca uttered the words without thinking about them. _Fuck!_

"But I'm not the love of your life!" Zulema laughed. "This is an entirely different scenario..." Then when she saw the way Maca looked at her, frightened and frozen, she stopped laughing. 

"No matter if you ask me to do it or not, I _can't_ do that, Zulema." Maca said quietly after she pulled herself together. "I couldn't live with myself if I did." she was thinking about refrasing her sentence but it was too late. And she wasn't even sure whether she really wanted to lessen the weight of what she said. _Why would I not let Zulema know?_ She realized that she wanted her to know. And that made her feel like a coward. _What was I so afraid of? Of getting stuck with you? Or of rejection?_

Zulema looked at her being terrified. She never thought about this. She knew that Maca was attracted to her, and she suspected that she grew to care about her, she did too after all, but she never went this far, especially not since she announced that she wanted to leave. And she became only now aware of what all this actually means to Maca in this light.

"Let's go inside, get dressed, you don't need to catch a cold now." Zulema said breaking the awkwardness of the moment. "We can continue arguing inside."

"You're worrying about me catching a cold?" Maca laughed being puzzled.

"Yes. You're pregnant." Zulema said with a faint smile.

Maca looked at Zulema being surprised. "How do you know that?"

"I've been pregnant too, blondie, and we've been close enough for me to recognize the signs. I don't know if you've been planning it or not, but either way, I think it's safe to say... Congratulations!" Zulema said giving Maca a smile then she stood up.

"Zulema..." Maca started, but she didn't have time to finish her sentence because a car rolled into their view, cheerful, loud music coming out of it, and in the next moment two people stepped out of it. 

"Hi! The bar we wanted to check out was closed." Triana greeted them with a big smile. "So we're early."

"Why are you two so... sad?" Goya frowned. "Were you crying?" she blinked at Maca. "And why are you wearing a jacket? It's not that cold outside..."

"That's one thing, but why aren't you wearing anything under it?" Triana asked giving Maca a once over.

Maca shook her head, she pulled together the jacket on herself. "Welcome girls! Feel yourself at home!" she said then she hurried towards the trailer. 

The two guests turned now towards Zulema. 

"What?!" she snorted. "She was taking a shower when her boyfriend called her that he doesn't want to see her again..." she rolled her eyes.

Triana looked at Zulema suspiciously.

"Boyfriend?" Goya asked. "After our previous outing with the four of us we were convinced that she had a thing going on with..." 

"You." Triana grinned. 

.

One and a half an hour later they stopped the car and walked down towards a river. Better said Maca hurried down the hillside, Zulema hurried after her.

She only insisted to come with her to convince Maca to change her mind, but apparently with no success. 

"Maca... don't do it! It's not worth it!" she said when she finally caught up with her.

Maca stopped, she turned around and placed her index finger on Zulema's lips making the brunette look at her with annoyed, wide open eyes. "That's not up to you to decide." she said.

Zulema pushed her hand away. "Sooner or later... sooner _than_ later you'll be on your own. Don't be this reckless, for heaven's sake! It's irresponsible! You'll regret it at one point."

"You said you liked my new attitude towards problems." Maca said cheekily, almost flirting, then she turned around and threw her phone into the water watching it for a moment as it started swimming down in the rapid water. Zulema let out a frustrated sigh as she watched it disappear.

"That's solved." Maca said smiling. "Why would I worry about the police? It will be looking for me on the other side of the region." she shrugged.

"For a while..." Zulema said sharply.

"There is no right decision in this case." Maca's tone became more serious. "So I'm going with the one I will hate myself for the least, ok? And I'll figure out the rest along the way. That's what life is about, no? Did our lives ever turn out according to our plans anyway?"

Zulema didn't say anything.

"Do you still want those diamonds?" Maca asked. "Or was it just something you wanted to do to keep yourself busy?"

"Why are you asking?" Zulema blinked at Maca.

"Because I'd be too exposed if I go to that wedding now."

"I don't give a shit about those diamonds." Zulema said briefly.

Maca nodded. "What do we tell the girls?"

"That we're sorry, but we remembered that we're rich enough already." Zulema shrugged.

Maca laughed. "Come, let's take a moment before driving back." she looked at Zulema and sat down near the river watching the flow of the water. It was fast, hurrying, almost furious. And it never stopped. 

Zulema sat down near her. "This much about our goodbye heist..." she said offhandedly.

"We can do another one instead." Maca shrugged. "We _will_ do another one." she corrected herself and smiled at Zulema.

"Really? What are we stealing?" that raised her eyebrows. "Didn't we just realize that we're rich as fuck?" 

Maca moved a bit closer to Zulema, a bit insecurely, but she laid back on the grass, resting her head on one of Zulema's thighs. She caught the puzzled look in the brunette's eyes when she lifted her gaze to the sky, but she wasn't afraid. _There's nothing to be afraid of!_ She was tired of acting out of fear. It never made her happy. _This feels right._ "We're stealing something more valorous than diamonds." she said.

"What on earth can we steal that is more valorous than diamonds?" Zulema snorted and started playing with Maca's hair.

Maca tilted her head to look at Zulema again. "Time." she said smiling at her warmly. "We are stealing time."

»»» • «««

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! ♥  
> As I noticed you guys were expecting hell from this chapter, I hope I gave you something... else... than that. 😅
> 
> \------‐--------------------
> 
> I have a question for you guys who are using wattpad. I've just made an account there, and I was thinking about posting my OTRWYE/OTOS/OTBL series there, and I am wondering if that would be ok/worth it and stuff like that. I've never used the app before, I don't even know what kind of stories are usually shared there. So what are your experiences with it? :) Thanks in advance!


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